


Family Bonding

by Wildwood



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Drunk Dick, Family, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-17
Updated: 2014-03-17
Packaged: 2018-01-16 03:17:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1329901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wildwood/pseuds/Wildwood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick wants to spend more time with his brothers and has the great idea of playing a drinking game with orange juice as a substitute, much to Jason's displeasure. Unfortunately for him, his brothers are less than eager to participate. No slash.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Family Bonding

"Okay so this is how it works, one of us says something that they've never done before while everyone else who has takes a drink. We go around in a circle, sharing our most deepest secrets with one another! Isn't this a great idea? A game for family bonding!" Dick, who was currently dressed in a casual t-shirt paired with navy blue sweat pants, stared across the table at his two youngest brothers who were giving him a death glare.

"Wheres the fucking alcohol? You promised booze, and all I see is orange juice. Are we making screwdrivers?" Jason continued to ransack Dick's apartment cabinets, cursing every few seconds.

"Aw, come on Jay! Little D here can't drink alcohol, and neither should Timmy for that matter. I'll buy you some beer or something later, I promise." An award winning Grayson smile was struck at the maskless Red Hood who growled back.

"What the fuck! No way am I doing this then if I'm sober. First you kidnap me, tie me up to a chair spouting something on how it's "family game night", then stick me in a room with these two brats! No way am I staying." As Jason stomped over towards the balcony window, he was immediately pulled back only to face a not-so-happy Dick Grayson.

"Listen," Dick hissed, abandoning his merriment that a moment before was shining through. "You will sit down next to your _brothers_ , and play this game with us. If you don't," His voice grew dangerously low, sending unsuspecting chills down the Red Hood's spine. "I'm showing them the pictures."

"You wouldn't."

"Oh I most certainly would, _Little Wing_. Now, are you going to play nice or do I have to force you?" The piercing look in Dick's eyes was so abnormal for his happy go lucky brother, that Jason had no choice but to sit down and comply.

"Now," A smile spread across Dick's face, his ferociousness completely gone. "Who should go first?"

"Listen Dick," Tim grumbled. "I know this is important to you and all, but do you really think it's such a good idea? I mean, do we _really_ want to know each others secrets?"

"Tt," Damian scowled. "I surely don't want to know anything else about you Drake. Unless it's something that would make Father kick you out it doesn't concern me."

Tim gritted his teeth at the retort, sending a grimace at the Wayne's youngest. "What makes you think I want to learn anything else about you, Demon Spawn? For all I care, you ca-"

"ENOUGH!" Dick slammed his hand on the table, causing the orange juice filled glasses to ripple and almost spill out of their cups.

"I don't like playing this card, but I'm the oldest. I make the rules. I decide what we're doing on our day off, and if I want a family game night I'm getting my family game night!" The look in Dick's eyes turned wild, immediately silencing the other three. Jason looked questionably at Tim as if to ask ' _What the fuck is his problem?',_ but was promptly ignored.

Damian simply looked ahead, muttered a "Tt", before crossing his arms to pout.

"Do we have any other complaints that you all want to share before we get started?" Dick asked, regaining some cool. "Or should I just go first?"

Being the second eldest, and noticing the other two were refusing to answer, Jason replied with a shrug. "Go for it."

"Hmmm," the oldest pondered, "Alright, I've never been in a hot air balloon." Tim looked around, and took a small sip of his orange juice.

"I went with my parents," Tim clarified. "We were on a trip in Scotland and they had these beautiful painted balloons you could ride over the countryside. We spent the whole day there, it's," He looked briefly down, smiling softly to himself. "Probably one of my favorite memories of them." Without warning a force from across the table barreled at Tim, who was thrusted into a hug.

"Awww, Timmy! That's a beautiful story!" Dick exclaimed. "Maybe we should all go on a hot air balloon ride, what do you think?" Looking at the other two annoyed expressions, Dick gave a huff before sitting back down.

"That was very nice Timmy." Dick smiled. "All right, Jason! It's your turn, make sure it's good."

Jason felt an evil smirk grow on his face while he eyed the boy next to him. "I've never had sex with a dude."

"Hey!" Tim yelled, anger bubbling up. "Why were you looking at me when you said that?"

"Tt, I thought it would be obvious Drake." Damian piped in. "You are vastly deficient in male testosterone, any male would mistake you for a female. I doubt a female of the human race would even consider lying with you in hopes of having a child." Jason looked a bit bewildered, and let a snicker.

"Burn." He laughed.

Dick eyed daggers at the two while briefly glancing at his orange juice, wishing that it was alcohol.

"Guys," he moaned. "New rules. Jason, no sex questions. Damian, no more comments about Timmy. Timmy, they didn't mean it. Jason, Damian, apologize." Getting a sneer from the both of them Dick emphasized, " _Now."_

After Jason and Damian muttered a half-hearted apology (but really, Damian's resembled more of a grunt), Dick motioned for Tim to take his turn.

"I've never…" Tim muttered, trying to think of something to get his oldest brother in a better mood. "Rode on an elephant."

Just as he expected, Dick's smile grew while he took a sip of his orange juice. "Would you like to?" Dick asked excitedly.

Tim smiled back with a nod. "Yeah I would. I know how the last time you asked I was sorta scared but, I think I can handle it now."

"Oh yay!" Dick squeaked. "This can be another outing! All four of us could go to my old circus and ride one of their elephants, I'm sure Pop's wouldn't mind." Jason simply leaned back in his chair as he sipped his juice.

"Sorry Dickie Bird," he said. "I've already been on an elephant while with Roy and Kori in Sudan. I don't really want to relive that experience." A slight frown followed.

"Why not? It'll be fun!"

"The one I was on wasn't exactly friendly," Jason muttered. "And they give you blisters in the damndest places." Dick couldn't help but let out a giggle while giving a shrug.

"You must not have been sitting on him or her correctly, give me some time and I'll convince you to come with us." Smiling back at Damian, Dick looked at the currently quiet brother.

"Your turn, Little D! Say something you've never done before." Damian looked up, brows forward, before growling.

"This game is ridiculous," he muttered. "Alright, I have never partaken in an outing consisting of attending an outdoor sport for the sheer purpose of observation."

Jason looked over at Dick, confused. "What the hell did he say?"

"You've never been to a baseball game, Little D?" Dick asked. Damian looked over at his oldest brother, the one who was his batman, and shook his head.

"The children at my school seem to think it is rather odd, " Damian explained. "But I see no worth of attending such a thing. They aren't battling to the death, but merely playing a game. The athletics involved is minimal and one should not glorify their achievements, for they have none."

As the other two took their sips of orange juice Dick smiled at Damian with a bit of sadness. "Well," he began. "You might not like baseball, but there are other things we can do. There's football, hockey, tennis-"

"Wrestling," Jason contributed. "The brat might like to see two overly muscled men beating on one another. It's fake but," he waved his hand in the air, "it can be entertaining."

"Isn't that a bit violent?" Dick asked.

"Pff, the kid's already beating up dudes worse than what they show on TV. He'll be fine." Glancing over at the youngest, Dick met his eyes and smiled.

"Would you like to do that Dami? I'm sure Jason would love to take us to one."

"Hey! Don't rope me into this."

"Like I'd ever want to go with Todd!"

"Okay okay," Dick said holding his hands up in surrender. With a tired look he replied, "We'll talk about it later." Leaning back in his chair, Dick looked over at his three siblings. The one to his left was fiddling with his heavily worn leather jacket, beside him Tim was doing something absent-mindedly on his phone, while the youngest was staring a hole through the grain of Dick's mahogany table. He wanted to bring his brothers together for once, but all it seemed to be doing was causing arguments.

Giving into a sigh, Dick was about to go again when suddenly Beethoven's 5th Symphony (or how Jason dubbed it, the dun dun dun duuuun song) rang through the air. Damian, a bit startled, answered his phone and muttered a "Hello, Father", before walking away to privatize his conversation.

Rubbing his temples, Dick focused on the two remaining people and took a sip of his juice. "I've never gotten drunk." He said, peering at their expressions.

"Bullshit." Jason exclaimed. "I've seen you at parties, undercover, whatever, you've totally gotten drunk."

"No I haven't," Dick countered. "I've always been the responsible one, I'd never go to a social event or a mission where my thought processes would be impaired. Sure, I've had alcohol but never enough to make me _plastered_." Jason and Tim (who Dick eyed with disapproval) both took drinks from the cups and sighed.

"You wouldn't like getting that incapacitated." Tim said. "I've done some wild things with the Titans that I regret. And, Dick, with your already upbeat personality I don't even think you'd make a good drunk."

"I agree with the Replacement for once," Jason joined. "You already act like you're drunk half the time, I don't really want to see you worse off. Plus, you'll probably be all weepy and shit."

Dick didn't reply, but put his cup down, frustratingly a bit harder then he meant to, resulting in spilling the juice across the table.

"Ah, fuck!" He gritted his teeth while getting up and storming back to the kitchen to pick up some towels.

Jason, who had rarely seen Dick cuss like that for no good reason (even under his breath), looked over at Tim who shared his semi-shocked expression. They both noticed that something was up with Dick, but they didn't know exactly what it was. They sat in awkward silence for a few moments, wondering if they should bring up what just had happened. Before they could, Dick came back, fist full of paper towels, and started blotting the table to clean up.

"I'm sorry if I'm acting weird," he sighed exhaustedly. "I just thought bringing you all together would be fun, but, I guess this wasn't such a great idea afterall." Looking over at Jason and Tim, Dick gave them a sad smile. "We barely do anything, you know? I mean, I guess we never did much before but with you back Jason and Bruce not being dead, I thought we could all sort of start over. I guess it was just wishful thinking on my part." Getting up to throw away the orange soaked towels, Dick almost ran into Damian who unexpectedly popped right behind him.

"Father requests that I go home." He muttered. "Apparently Pennyworth is unpleased with how I executed my chores."

"You did chores?" Jason asked.

"Of course not, Todd. That is servants' work, and it is Pennyworth's duty to do his own, not saddle me with it."

"That's probably why Bruce wants you home Dami," Dick said gently. "If Bruce or Alfred asked you to do something and you didn't do it, that's a big problem. Alfred isn't just a servant he's our friend and guardian. You should treat him with better respect." Damian looked at Dick, half expecting a full-out lecture but none came. Instead, Dick guided him to the door where they both put on their shoes.

"I'm guessing Alfred's going to pick you up, right?" Damian nodded. "Then I'll wait with you." Looking over at the two others, Dick said, "You guys are free to do what you want. Thanks for spending some time here at least." With a smile he opened the door for the youngest and himself, departing his apartment with a wave.

Tim sat awkwardly next to Jason, unsure if he should get up or not. With an elongated sigh, Jason shifted in his chair, looked seriously at Tim, and muttered, "We need to get Dick drunk."

Confusion flashed in Tim's face. "What? You want to get our brother drunk?"

"He really needs to relax," Jason explained. "He was off the wall tonight, ya know? I've never seen him so…intense before. He's so tightly wound up he'll spontaneously combust or something."

Tim sat thoughtful for a moment, thinking about what the worst could happen. "We aren't needed in the field with Batman and Batgirl tonight, so, maybe once he gets back?" Jason nodded. It wasn't as if he particularly _wanted_ to spend any more time in this apartment but he felt like he needed to help Dick out. Plus, he could really mess with him while he's wasted.

"I'll get the booze," Jason said while heading towards the door. "You make sure you keep him here till I get back." He laughed. "You can even tell him we'll continue to play that stupid game. Who knows, it might get more fun with some alcohol in our systems."

When Jason departed, Tim sat back in his chair and shook his head in disbelief. He never expected to use his Saturday night getting Dick drunk, let alone freely socialize with the Red Hood. Taking out his phone, he started to look up what other drinking games they could play while he waited for his brothers to return.

**Author's Note:**

> There should be either one or two more shots after this chapter, so stay tuned.


End file.
